Do You Suffer from the Open-Door Syndrome?

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Choosing to open or close the door when opportunity knocks, will determine the course of your life. The clearer your vision, the easier the choice.   

Written by Angel Carlton

Imagine a path without borders…it would be difficult to determine where the path lies, which direction you were heading and unidentified guidelines would certainly make reaching the destination a bit more challenging. The same goes for traveling the path of life. Setting solid boundaries is one of the most powerful behaviors those seeking a greater purpose, can embrace.

When we fail to set boundaries for ourselves, we end up with a case of what I call, the Open-Door Syndrome. When you’re not guarding the door of your destiny, then you’ll find yourself walking through the door of temptation. Once you become aware of the doors you’ve opened, and learn which ones benefit you, you can then be empowered to choose to either walk in or walk away. Only then can you begin to gently close the doors that will not take you to your highest vision. Some doors you may find yourself slamming shut, others you may want to keep cracked open if a future opportunity for growth exists. Either way, this requires some honest self-reflection, communication and humility on your part.

Perhaps you will recognize these doors in your life:

  1. Revolving door – when you make the same relationship choices, allowing the same type of people in your life over and over again, one enters another on leaves, still keeping you in the middle of nowhere. Nothing changes until your choices change. This is the behavior shift that will propel you to the next phase.
  2. Sliding door – only opens from one side – either they let you in or you let them in, but seldom is there mutual respect. Be very cautious with these relationships. One-sided relationships are energy vampires.
  3. Swinging door – not clear on who is entering, you never know which way the door will swing, people coming and going from your life. If this is an occurrence in your life, then it’s time to set some strict boundaries and begin to control who enters next.
  4. Screen door – simply keeps the bugs out, but not quite sturdy enough to keep out the thieves in the night luring to steel your dreams.
  5. Locked door – where you let no one in and trust very few people, the barriers limit you to any opportunities and you stay stagnant because you’re not willing to take any risks, or you may fear any type of change.
  6. Basement door – when your door opens to a downward staircase to only those people who bring you down, lowers your energy and keeps you in the dark.
  7. Rooftop door – lifts you up higher, takes you to a place where there is no ceiling, feeling of limitless possibilities. Imagine you’re on the top of a skyscraper, when you open this type of door to possibility, you have great perspective of your life and clearly see where you’re heading and with whom.

Recognizing the type of doors you open throughout your life will help you to manage the “Open Door Syndrome”. It’s all about creating awareness and setting healthy boundaries so your life path is more defined. Regardless of the doors you open or shut, I found that this simple exercise will help to “clear the weeds” along the path. Reconnecting with the people who have contributed to your journey thus far will help accelerate the transformation process.

Make a conscious effort to reach out to those people who have served you in some way, believed in you and supported you. Just a simple thank you for that act of kindness, brings them back into your stream of consciousness. What this does is create an energetic support system. I truly believe, we place certain people in our lives with a higher strategic insight, knowing they will deliver the perfect experience for us to evolve at that particular time on our human journey. They have a right to know how they contributed to your personal growth and will feel empowered to know this truth.

Angel Carlton is the Author of 2 books, Staying Afloat During Tides of Change, and Dedicated to Destiny, the Founder of Power Up People!, Motivational Speaker, Transformation Coach, serves as a Director for the Institute for Corporate Productivity (i4cp.com) and is a Radio Show co-Host on Leading the Way (KLIF.com). Learn more at www.AngelCarlton.com.

 

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Align Your Allies

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By Angel Carlton

Outgrowing your relationships is a symptom of personal evolution.

Times of change are life’s monumental moments of transitioning into the next greatest version of yourself, and who you have at your side will have a direct impact on the outcome. Seemingly, it is during times of change, where we evaluate everything in life, including our relationships. Typically, when we “outgrow” a relationship, we automatically want to blame the other person for what they’ve done or not done to maintain our happiness. The truth is, more than likely, they haven’t changed at all. They are the same person they’ve always been. You’re the one who is evolving, transforming, and growing. Suddenly, that person doesn’t seem to be a fit any longer. This is not the time to blame, this is the time to be accountable for your own evolution. With this growth comes a responsibility to be honest, respectful, and compassionate with those around you, as they might not fully understand the changes you’re experiencing.

Be selective as to who you let on the bus that is taking you to your destiny, and who you should be waving to out the window as you parade on by. Some people are not yet equipped to go where you’re heading. There’s no need to discard people who you love and care about. Simply, share your new approach toward life, lead by example, and they will either follow or get out of your way. To help you determine who is destiny-worthy, make a list of all of your relationships, and put them into one of these four categories:

  1. The first category contains those relationships that empower, encourage, and support your highest vision. You usually walk away from these people feeling energetic, happy, and capable. These are healthy relationships to have in your life. You want to surround yourself with these people as much as possible.
  2. The next category are those people that you either admire, envy, and even judge. These are significant because these messengers are here to show you something about yourself that you may have forgotten or haven’t noticed yet. Pay close attention to these relationships, as they bring great insights on what to release during this very important phase of transformation.
  3. The next quadrant contains relationships that require much giving of your energy. These are the people in life that you support, you encourage, and you empower on a regular basis. The fact that you’re helping someone may boost your energy temporarily, yet after a while this can drain you. These types of relationships can create an energetic imbalance in your life. This is why it’s so important for you to give to yourself first, so that you have enough energy overflowing to give unto others without sacrificing your own enlightenment.
  4. The fourth quadrant of relationships is what I call GTHO (get the heck out!). The “GHetTO” is no place for anyone to be. These relationships are destructive, can be abusive, and are very disempowering. In most cases, these people are unsupportive, try to diminish your power, keep you “small,” and discourage you from any growth whatsoever, because if you change, that means they may have to change also, and for some, change can be very scary. It would be to your benefit to distance yourself from this type of unhealthy relationship. Keep in mind, it may take more time to rebound from this type of release, because it occupied so much of your energy, and tainted your self-belief system. In the long run, you will be stronger, more secure, and you’ll become highly self-sufficient once you get back into the flow of life.

There will be a time during the cycle of transformation when you may have to clean up some relationships, and create ones that serve you and your highest vision. When you become intentional about who you align with, you will notice an acceleration on your journey, otherwise your path may be filled with delays, distractions, and dead ends. Remember, those who are truly dedicated to destiny, are on the road less travelled. If it were comfortable and easy, everyone would be doing it. As Roger Staubach once said, “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.”

 

Angel Carlton is the author of two books, Staying Afloat During Tides of Change: Introducing the 6 Stages of Transformation, & Dedicated to Destiny: A Pursuit in Personal Growth, Prosperity & Purpose (To be published in 2017), the founder of Power Up People!, a motivational speaker, Transformation Coach, AND she serves as a Director for the Institute for Corporate Productivity & Radio Show Host on Leading the Way (klif.com).

Symptoms of Transformation

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“Change is that uncomfortable ailment that requires a prescription of patience, love and self-awareness. “ ~Angel Carlton

When we think a cold might be coming on, we may feel a headache, stuffy nose, cough or sore throat. When we recognize something out of the ordinary with our health, there are certain symptoms that alarm us that something might not be right. At that time, we might typically consult a doctor if our health doesn’t improve. The same goes for our emotional health during times of turmoil or transformation in our daily lives. Yet, when was the last time you sought help to recover from life’s unpredictable circumstances?

When we begin to recognize the symptoms of the transformation cycle, or signs of changing times, we can administer a prescription and navigate that change in a healthy manner. However, if you continue to ignore the signs of a misalignment in life and choose to white-knuckle through the process, the diagnosis may worsen and so might your level of stress which leads to disease and illness.   This type of stress has a domino effect where it impacts your productivity at work, and that may lead to yet another layer of unwanted stress.  When change is not dealt with properly, you can see how things can easily spiral out of control.

Unexpected change is why 45% of our society lives under extreme stress, according to a study conducted by Forbes. Statistically, that is nearly half of our circle of friends, our neighbors and co-workers! We know from watching the news what unaddressed stress can do. It can be very dangerous! That is why it is imperative to recognize the symptoms associated with change so that we can diagnose the issue, release the stress and prescribe a healthy remedy of self-awareness.

Whenever a tragic event occurs, like a job loss, broken relationship or death in the family, we are initially jolted into a state of shock, what I call the Realize Stage.  These events often serve as directional signs, pointing you to take another direction in some aspect of your life.  If you’ve ever been there, you can easily identify with what I am talking about. It’s when we begin to ask those profound questions about life’s purpose. These phases are a cyclical pattern of human personal evolution, and, when we are aware of them, they can bring a sense of peace and harmony to the trials and tribulations that life delivers. When we learn to identify the lessons from life’s rollercoaster ride, we gain a healthier understanding of our journey, our relationships, and most importantly, ourselves.

It is important to know what transformation (or some might refer to as “an awakening”) feels like so you understand what you’re experiencing is perfectly natural. It also helps to get a penthouse perspective of your path, by reviewing where you’ve been, where you are and where you’d like to go. Let’s take a look at the first of The 6 Stages of Transformation and a few examples of the symptoms you may experience as you respond to the change or event happening in your life (these may vary depending upon the type of event or circumstance).

  • A feeling of lack of purpose
  • Close relationships begin to feel unfulfilling
  • Feeling disconnected from the “norm” and a sense of not belonging
  • A strong desire to be alone and self-reflect; isolation
  • An interest in understanding death, and what happens to our soul when we die
  • Searching and seeking answers for the true meaning of life
  • A (An) unexpected loss that generates a sense of “life is never going to be the same again”
  • A calling to do or be something totally different and out of the ordinary
  • A feeling like you need to contribute to something greater; an urge to make a difference
  • An attraction toward books, videos, seminars, webcasts, and other material on holistic/spiritual/metaphysical topics
  • Music begins to speak to you; lyrics seem to bring messages
  • Signs begin to show up in unexpected places—as numbers, for example
  • People, sometimes strangers, show up as messengers during this time
  • “Coincidences” occur more regularly and are more noticeable
  • You feel a strong desire for a fresh start
  • A sharpened sense of self-awareness and perspective of life

Whether you resonated with one or all of these symptoms of personal change, remember to be kind to yourself as you move through any difficult time. Become the observer of your life journey and recognize when others might be going through difficult times. Rest assured, life’s ups and downs are a reflection of the natural order of everything.  So, take your doctor’s orders…embrace change with a healthy curiosity, apply a dosage of patience and follow up with self-nurturing kindness.

Angel Carlton is the Author of 2 books, Staying Afloat During Tides of Change, and Dedicated to Destiny, the Founder of Power Up People! Inc. (PowerUpPeople.net), Motivational Speaker and Transformation Coach.  Angel also serves as a Sales Director for the Institute for Corporate Productivity (i4cp.com), a human capital research firm that discovers the people practices that drive high performance.

Marching to the Beat of a Different Drum

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What would your life be like if you truly believed that all change happens for your benefit? Would that make you break out into a happy dance? Well, get your dancing shoes ready because the more aware you become of life’s unpredictable circumstances, the quicker you will see how change always works to your advantage.

Understanding how change occurs…

Let’s zoom our lens and focus in for a moment on how change occurs. My mantra is change is sometimes difficult but always worthwhile. Once I realized that change was inevitable, I then began to embrace the flow in which change occurs, and suddenly life began to take on a whole new meaning. When I dug deep to get to the core of what causes changes in our lives, I broke it down into four categories: an Event, through Engagement, an Epiphany, or an Essential. Here is a simple break down and examples of each cause:

  1. Event ~ These are life-altering events that outcomes are seldom prepared for, such as a death of a loved one, birth of a child, divorce, marriage, accident, or health or financial crisis. These events cause a sudden awakening and “reality check” forcing us to take action. Even when considering happy occasions, like a vacation for example, the anticipation is often more exciting than the event itself. So when reality seeps in, it can be quite an awakening. Detach from the outcome and you will never be disappointed.
  2. Engagement ~ These changes are caused by being engaged with other people—our relationships. We either receive or reject feedback, criticism, or a personal opinion from another that opens our eyes for us to see ourselves in a different light. On the other hand, when we are engaged with others, we find that we either admire them and see a reflection of our own potential, or we recognize a shadow side and can admit we sometimes possess the same ugly quality. This is typically a part of ourselves we realize would be beneficial if changed. These messengers, who hold a mirror up for you to see yourself differently, cause us to react either for the better or for the worse. This change can occur in the form of a disagreement, a break-up, experiencing new love, interacting with colleagues, or parental, spousal, sibling, and offspring issues.
  3. Epiphany ~ The “aha” moment when clarity comes shining through those rose-colored glasses you’ve been looking through. An epiphany-type change occurs with the power of a single thought, like a truth revealed based on a message, self-discovery, or a breakthrough. Trust that these thoughts are coming from a higher place, and are not to be ignored. Remember, truth is sometimes absurd when first heard.
  4. Essential ~ This change is more of a necessity that is intentionally made from your internal decision-maker and stems from a need to improve your life physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. This change in mindset occurs for your survival; it’s an alteration in your belief system or recovery from a life that hasn’t served you. Change is the only alternative. It is typically essential for change to occur for those suffering from addictions, abusive relationships, or a health issue.

One way to break down barriers caused by unexpected change is to generate awareness around how change occurs. Ask yourself, how am I responding to these changes? Rather than allowing that change to stop you in your tracks, or set you back, shift your perspective and march to a beat of a different drum. Recognize what type of change is occurring so that you quickly rebound and use that event, circumstance, or breakthrough as a launch pad toward a happier, more balanced and joy-filled life.

 

Angel Carlton is the Author of Staying Afloat During Tides of Change, the Founder of Power Up People! (PowerUpPeople.net), Public Speaker and a Transformation Facilitator for individuals, companies and organizations.

 

Learning to Love Change

sunset-heart-sandBy Angel Carlton

We embrace “opportunities” but reject change. Change is merely an opportunity we have yet to discover. Change is simply our higher self, reminding us to live our magnificence to create a life of significance.   To fully embrace this truth, it’s helpful to first understand the reason behind why things change in our lives and the struggles we have to endure. Let us become aware of how is change generated in our lives so that we may learn to embrace its meaning and take from it the lessons of love change delivers.

The first step toward embracing change is changing your perspective toward it. Change, simply put, is to alter, modify, or make to become different. We know change is happening in the world, in our lives, and in the lives of everyone around us. But how well are we coping with these changes? Just take a look at the news, the violence, stress and anger all around us, locally and globally. According to a study conducted by Forbes, 45% of society is living under “extreme stress”! That’s nearly half of your circle of friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors who are on the brink of a breakdown. Surely this is an indication we desperately need a way to adapt to our changing world—and sooner than later! It’s time we begin to see these changes as opportunities to gain a better understanding, learn from them and utilize the lessons so that we become a better and stronger society. Let us no longer look at ourselves as victims in an increasingly destructive world, often with a sense of helplessness. Instead, let us stand up, be strong, and move forward as a driver of change, a generator of positivity, in hopes of changing the focus on the lens of which we view the world.

What generates change?

Understanding how that change is generated will help you get to the core of what the purpose, lesson, or gift each change or circumstance delivers. There are three categories to best describe how change occurs within our lives: from Happenstance, through Intention, or by Default. Recognizing which category each one falls into is the primary key to embarking on the path to positive change.

The first generator of change, Happenstance, is when change just seems to happen, be it negative or positive. Some people grow and evolve without even being aware of the changes that are causing the growth. Some of them seem to have the “Midas touch,” where everything they touch turns to gold; they flow through life, usually the happy-go-lucky types that have a positive attitude about everything. Then there are some people who seem to have “bad luck”— those whom simply can’t buy a break and forever find themselves in a rut. So while we are all creating our own experiences, some people know it and others walk through life completely clueless about this amazing power we all possess.

The next group contains those who change with deliberate Intention. They are determined to seek ways to improve their lives and strive daily for a more fulfilled life. These are the individuals who have realized there is more to life than going to work, making money, sleeping, and eating. These folks realize there is a greater vision, and as a result of change they’ve had a glimpse of life’s truer purpose many times through the eyes of change. This glimpse has sometimes been referred to as a “spiritual awakening.” When this occurs, it’s like the healthiest obsession one could possibly imagine. Everything in life becomes a quest to conquer more of that same feeling of clarity, truth, and meaning.

Finally, change is generated by Default. These people usually have an unexpected experience or traumatic event that forces them to wake up and see life through different lenses. They grow because they have to. For example, the death of a loved one will often force people into a life change. It’s understandably not a pleasant experience, but those who discover a healthy coping mechanism will move through these unhappy times and emotionally be stronger on the other side.

These are what promotes change in our lives…Happenstance, Intention, Default and when we Embrace change, (HIDE is the acronym) life truly does become an adventure. There really is no reason to “hide” behind change any longer. Change is what gives us the ultimate human experience. Become a master of change and your life will become a masterpiece.

Angel Carlton is the Author of Staying Afloat During Tides of Change, the Founder of Power Up People! (PowerUpPeople.net), Public Speaker and a Transformation Facilitator for individuals, companies and organizations.

 

How to create Sustainable Change in 2017

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Lose weight. Start that business. Finish that project. Find my soul mate. Become more prosperous. Volunteer more. Find my calling. Become a better spouse, parent, friend, etc. Are any of these on your list of intentions for 2017?

This is the time of year when we put all kinds of pressure on ourselves to make a new year’s resolution and hope with all out might that this is the year we’ll stick to it. If you are like me, you have failed miserably in the past at sustaining New Year’s resolutions. Until now that is! Recently, I discovered by going through a series of catastrophic changes in my life that we just are not properly trained on how to create positive, sustainable change. In fact, experts reveal that only 8% of people actually achieve their desired goal. After reading this, my curiosity got to work and I began researching how these folks accomplish success at navigating change.

Here is what my research uncovered:

  1. Envision a clear and concise goal with emotional electricity attached to it.
  2. Generate a realistic timeline with a workable plan and action steps.
  3. Hand write the goal down on several pieces of paper.
  4. Post the goals in highly visible areas (home, car, work, on personal devices, etc.)
  5. Visit these goals and envision the end result daily with that same level of emotional enthusiasm.
  6. Share the goal with someone you trust, who will support you and hold you accountable.
  7. Report your progress to that person weekly, monthly, etc.
  8. Celebrate every success along the way.

That’s the practical approach to making your resolution a reality. However, some people need to do some inner work to truly transform their lives. This was my personal experience. And during this time I discovered a six-stage process in the transformation cycle. In fact, I wrote a book on this topic entitled Staying Afloat During Tides of Change; How to Navigate the Six Stages of Transformation. When I combined effective goal-setting (as described above) with the six-stage process, my life path became a superhighway. So, if deep transformation is what you are seeking, then here are the 6 Stages of Transformation to help you succeed:

  1. Realize – Become the vision, outline specific details of what you look, act and feel like in this place.
  2. Release – Something needs to be let go so that we can create space for the new to arrive. (Behaviors, relationship, job, etc.)
  3. Rebound – Change usually generates stress regardless of how badly you want it. That is why it is vitally important to allow yourself time to rest, recover, rejuvenate and give yourself ample time to adapt to your new normal.
  4. Reinvent – This is the stage when you put your new vision into action by taking those first steps and begin practicing the new and improved you; courage and perseverance become your best companions.
  5. Resurrect – Once you begin mastering the behaviors that are in alignment with your highest self, you eventually become that person. This is when your new normal begins to feel comfortable and you’re on your way to your destiny.
  6. Respond – Anytime you have reached a place of your true purpose, there is a responsibility to help others. By helping other people get to where you are, you will automatically sustain and reinforce the change you encountered.

Wishing you a happy and healthy new year filled with abundance and all the positive change your heart desires. You can do it! I believe in you. After all, the ability to change is the greatest gift we have been given. Visit me at AngelCarlton.com or PowerUpPeople.net!

My New Years gift to you…a FREE Personal Transformation Worksheet so that you can begin making your desired change by taking these 6 essential steps now. 

Click here to access your complimentary worksheet!  

Political Transformation is Underway

american-flag-images-12As I entered the polling booth, I felt great excitement for the incredible opportunity to cast my vote for our nation’s next leader.   As an American Citizen, it is one of the honors we have to be a part of change and propel our country in a direction that will serve the good of all.  At least that is the idea behind this right.

This past election didn’t exactly take us down Easy Street as it generated much separation in our society.  It saddens me to see that since the election, this separation seems to have worsened, heightened into anger and provoked violence amongst our cities.  This is certainly not the change I anticipated when I cast my vote. I am certain anyone who is reading this Conscious Community Magazine feels the same heaviness in their hearts.

Without getting too much into politics, I want to first say this, it is precisely these moments in time that propel the greatest transformation.  As difficult as it is to watch the world seemingly fall apart, we must realize this one thing…all change happens for a reason.  Specifically, to move these lower vibrational energies into the direction of the next highest vision we have of ourselves or, in this case, our country.  We as a global citizenship are experiencing a major shift and it is playing out its course in scenarios such as this, the latest US Election.  Sit back and see for yourself, the transformation of our political system is underway.  Not just in American, but across the globe.

You see, we cannot build a beautiful new structure of our government on the current cracked (some say corrupt) foundation it has become. So, what will naturally take place is a “breaking down” process in the form (or illusion) of destruction, in order for rebuilding to occur.   It doesn’t matter who is in the White House, rest assured this would occur with whomever won the election.

Although I realize it may be difficult to do at times like this, I invite you to lift yourself up to a higher perspective.  Do this so that you can see this is part of the landscape for the reinventing phase, leading us to the next greatest version of our country. Then, when we can observe the shifting sands of our political structure from our higher selves, a peaceful knowing that all will be fine begins to envelope our hearts, fear gently subsides, we can begin to embrace the change that is happening and finally allow this process to complete it’s course.

I believe that all events in life occur for our good.  And isn’t it cool that you chose to be here during these exciting, historic and epic transformational times for our world.  You are here at this time for a reason.  My question to you is, how will you contribute, respond and show up to these events?  Will you choose to complain and feed the negativity or will you consciously raise the awareness for others by observing without judgment, understanding the process of change and nurturing the fears in others who are too scared to see the light through the darkness?

If I were to cast a ballot for positive change, I would vote for you to become the next greatest change-maker!  I believe we will prevail if we stick together, engage with each other as humanity intended and serve one another selflessly.

Gandhi’s words sing true today more than ever before, “You must be the change you wish to see in this world.”

Let’s Power Up People!

Angel Carlton is the Author of Staying Afloat During Tides of Change, the Founder of Power Up People! (PowerUpPeople.net) and a Transformation Consultant for individuals, companies and organizations.

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