A special thanks to my son, Nick Carlton for his contribution and for allowing me to share his transformation experience with you.
Change…is an expected part of life.
Change…gives us opportunities to grow.
Change…allows us to know better who we are.
Change…is one of life’s greatest teachers.
Change…will test our strength, our character and our faith.
All of this is true as well as…
Change…is the root cause of all stress.
Think about that. Any event we experience in life, good or bad, invokes some level of stress. When I had this realization, I started researching the impact of change and learned that our society (especially Americans) is more stressed-out today than ever before! According to the American Psychological Association, 55% of Americans are living under extreme stress! That’s not moderate or high stress…that’s life-threatening, dangerous levels of stress where our fellow humans are white-knuckling their way through life. That’s over half of your co-workers, circle of friends, family members, and neighbors! And here’s the most disturbing part to me…our young adults (ages 18-34) are amongst the most stressed of all of us!
These are our future leaders and studies from the APA show that 58% of our young adults are “so stressed, they are completely overwhelmed and feel numb”. Get this! 67% say they are so stressed, they cannot focus. Isn’t this supposed to be the time for them to learn about their passion and start an exciting career??!! How can they achieve anything if their brains are constantly impaired from stress??!!
I had tears in my eyes when I first read these startling statistics. I have a son who is in that age bracket and like his peers, these are supposed to be the best years of his life. Yet, stress is at an all time high and rather than thriving and living the American Dream, they are feeling overwhelmed, limited, and spending their youth just scrolling on the couch.
I believe there is no coincidence that these stats align with this recent study that shows 87% of Americans feel like there’s been a constant stream of crises without a break over the last 2 years. Wow! I am so glad I am not the only one who feels like someone’s got a heavy foot on the accelerator and we’re all flying down the highway of change holding on for dear life. Just. One. Shocking. Event. After. Another. Can we just tap the brakes and take a breather?? The point being made is that constant change (which drives uncertainty) is directly associated with this stress epidemic and it’s time we shine the light on all of it.
Well, last month I had the privilege of speaking at the Transformative Learning Conference in Oklahoma City. My presentation was titled, “ The Profound Impact of Change on Young Adults”. I delivered this message to a room full of college professors and administrators who feel this is something they see every day and something that desperately needs to be addressed. As a speaker and writer who takes pride in researching the transformation process and understanding the natural cycle of change, I eagerly introduced the audience to the 6 Stages of Transformation, providing them with a tool to help influence our young minds. While I prepared for this event, I thought I should get a real-life perspective and decided to interview my young adult son, Nick, who’s certainly had his share of change.
So if you’re interested in learning how a 26-year old copes through life’s chaos, here’s the wisdom Nick shared with me as I asked him about each stage of transformation:
REALIZE STAGE
Mom: When did you realize your life was shifting? What was your greatest turning point and how did you handle it?
Nick: My move from Dallas to Denver for a job during the pandemic was the biggest shift for me.
Mom: How did you handle it?
Nick: I had to take a step away and have a 3rd person perspective. I decided to make change intentional rather than being at the affect of it and I understood that the outcome is not the same as how I imagined it to be.
RELEASE STAGE
Mom: Since there is always a clearing process that happens with transformation, what did you have to let go of?
Nick: People who don’t believe in me and judge me. You don’t need other people’s opinions. They get in your way.
Mom: So you feel like your circle of friends changed or got smaller?
Nick: Yes, and I’m okay with that. I know I have good friends that may not live near me but they’re there for me.
REBOUND STAGE
Mom: There’s a time in the process that you have to take an inventory of what stresses you out and then have a plan to manage that stress. What’s yours?
Nick: 1) Sales – as much as I love it, it can be stressful. 2) Being away from family and friends. 3) Watching my dog’s declining health.
Mom: How do you deal with stress?
Nick: I let time pass. I stay busy and allow the solution to come to me. Remove myself from the situation. Sometimes just playing video games can be a stress reliever.
REINVENT STAGE
Mom: At some point you notice a shift and a “new person” begins to rise from the experience. How do you feel you have reinvented yourself?
Nick: I realize I have to have an end game so I set goals. Right now I am very money-driven and determined but I understand the difference between confidence and ego. I believe that being generous = success and that it’s important to have a purpose that is meaningful. It’s kinda like excelling through video game levels…you become better. You just gotta give yourself an end game.
RESURRECT STAGE
Mom: What did it feel like when you knew you had risen above the challenges and moved into that “next level”?
Nick: I definitely leveled up. It made me more humble. Humility is huge. I just think you have to make yourself happy, trust yourself and don’t let it get to you. It’s up to you, no one else can do it for you.
RESPOND STAGE
Mom: Once one makes it through the transformation process, there is a responsibility to respond to others in need. In what ways do you pay it forward?
Nick: I think it’s more about the small things that make a big difference. When you’re in a good place it’s easy to share a smile. Just be a nice person and hold the door open for someone. Everyone can do just that.
Yep, that’s my kid…couldn’t be prouder. Just know there are many people, young and old, going through this process who don’t have the tools or coping mechanisms to deal with what they’re facing. When we learn to manage change and our emotional response to life’s ups and downs, we can then learn to manage the stress that accompanies it. As conscious adults, it’s up to us to recognize a struggling person and offer a helping hand, a smile or just hold the door open to the possibility of change potentially being one of the best things in life when managed properly.
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Angel Carlton Anderson is a Facilitator of Transformational Learning, a Motivational Speaker & Published Author on the topic of personal development and change adaptation.
”Helping you navigate life’s shifts & the natural cycle of change so that you transform into the best version of who you are, live with a sense of purpose & lead with impact.”
To Learn more visit: TransformwithAngel.com
Wisdom for Wayshowers 